I made a mistake...
The struggles of a perfectionist!
Last week I shared a different kind of post with some (hopefully!) useful writing tips from one of my favourite books, a geeky tome on style and writing by Steven Pinker.
Anyhow, I had set off writing it with the idea of pulling out five nuggets that would be worth sharing and titled my post as such. It is always 5 best bla bla this and 10 best bla bla that in headlines, don’t you find? A nice neat number that rolls of the tongue and is so satisfying to read. I then got so sucked into my nerdy word ventures that I end up with only four bullet points that really felt valuable and worth writing about. And then of course, in all my excitement of diving into it I had completely forgotten to update the title of the post. I wonder how many of you eagle-eyed readers noticed and, perhaps, even mentally criticised my sloppiness? Did you even notice?
The old perfectionist in me would have been mortified and, indeed, I was a little bit disappointed that I had made the mistake but also something else really curious happened. I didn't really care, not as much as I used to anyway! I was actually more concerned about the fact that I didn't care because being this anal kind of perfectionist with words and projects used to be my MO and still is part of my skillset professionally in editorial work. I also think it is important to acknowledge one’s mistakes, in writing and in life in general. After all, even newspapers do that with all sorts of retrospective corrections in the issues that follow. We are all human.
I think a few things have happened to me in recent years which account for the change in how I felt. First and foremost, I've learnt to tweak my self-talk, making room for more grace and self acceptance, which involves embracing my imperfections. If I always try to be perfect, I burn out, I struggle to be real and constantly stumble as I second guess my next move in my constant attempts to make the best impression and project the best “me” unto the world.
Secondly, I've become so comfortable with this platform (Substack) which has been the home for much of my public writing since 2021 that I no longer feel the pressure to be perfect on here, to please and to impress in a way I used to feel about other social media in the past. There is no (read: a lot less!) algorithm pleasing, there is less scope for comparison that kills creativity and more room for vulnerability and for, well, just being human. I’ll reiterate this again: to be human is to make mistakes. To admit to mistakes is an important trait that involves showing and sharing one’s vulnerability be it as a parent, a partner or a friend. So, here's to making mistakes big and small and to not giving a hoot.
On a different note, I’ve been thinking a lot about what a paid subscriber option could be for me here on Substack as it would just be so lovely to be rewarded for my words. I still don’t know what that could be yet because, the truth is, I write and work, in the gaps of motherhood and that is very much a spontaneous and unpredictable process/timeline, even if it does add the much-needed pressure to make the most of my free time.
If in the meantime, if words I write resonate or tickle you in some way and you’d like to support me, I can’t survive without coffee on a daily basis, so…
